Putin’s ‘Excrement’ Collected by Special Bodyguard During Foreign Visits

In a freshly revealed absurdity out of Russia, it has been exposed that genocidal dictator Vladimir Putin has his “excrement” collected and preserved by a special “bodyguard.”

Putin does this whenever he is on foreign visits in order to prevent western intelligence services from learning crucial information about his health.

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Russian ‘Greatness’ Beams, Even from Putin’s Poo

Putin’s poo apparently also has a special briefcase where it is diligently placed, kept, and then brought back to “Mother Russia” – lest it fertilizes the lands of the “rotten” West.

The revelation was made in a special report by two French investigative journalists – Regis Gente and Mikhail Rubin – from the Paris Match news magazine.

The former is the author of two books on Russian politics, while the latter has covered Russia’s current affairs as a reporter for over a decade.

According to their report, the collection, preservation, and deportation of Putin’s “bodily waste” is the responsibility of the FSO – Russia’s Federal Protection Service, whose job guarding the Moscow leader is similar to that of US Secret Service.

The two French reporters reveal at least two instances in which it was overtly obvious the excrement of the atrocious Russian tyrant was meticulously collected and extracted back home for the sake of Putin’s personal safety.

The cases occurred during the Moscow autocrat’s visit to France on May 29, 2017 and his visit in October 2019 to Saudi Arabia.

There are at least two other suspected cases of confirming the “collectability of Putin’s poo” – in the Austrian capital Vienna in October 2018 and then again in Paris, France in December 2019.

(Video snapshot from the French Presidency in 2019 shows Putin happily walking out of the bathroom, knowing his precious poo has been secured in that special briefcase.)

Soviet Communists Collected Poo of Chinese Communists

In Paris, in the Elysee Palace, the French Presidency, Putin was filmed going into the bathroom with six security guards. Then, when they came out, one of them walking right after the tyrant was patriotically carrying that special poo-poo briefcase.

According to Farida Rustamova, a former journalist with the BBC, a source of hers who is one of Putin’s old acquaintances told her the Russian dictator has been bringing his own toilet whenever going on foreign visits.

The revelation about Putin’s poo collection operation comes against the backdrop of recent reports that he is suffering from some form of cancer – blood or thyroid – and potentially also from Parkinson’s disease.

Back in 2016, a former KGB agent, Igor Atamenko, claimed in 1949, at the orders of Soviet dictator Joseph Stalin, his intelligence set up a fake toilet to collect and analyze the excrement of visiting Chinese communist leader Mao Zedong.

The Soviet intelligence gathered Mao’s Communist poo for the entire duration of his ten-day visit in the winter of that year. This was described by Atamenko as an “extravagant way” to “extract information” about the Chinese leader.

 

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